hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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