...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
