either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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