i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
operation have a gay friend backfired
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize