who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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