Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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