i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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