Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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