Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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