Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
