There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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