Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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