It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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