he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
