Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
