I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
