My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
