Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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