i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
