the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
