you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
