That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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