so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Found the puke drawer
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
