the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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