JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
