Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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