I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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