just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
