we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize