Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize