Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
