I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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