I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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