I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A+ Viking dick
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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