Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
