we have officially lost it.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
