k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
