you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
