He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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