Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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