Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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