haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
