Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
