was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
