What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
