i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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