Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
