i wish starbucks made bloody marys
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
