haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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