Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
