She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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