you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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