During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
