Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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