You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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