they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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