woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
