I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
