i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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