what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
