party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
should my penis look like a turkey
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
