What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
