grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
