pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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