just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
