Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
