I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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