what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Randomize
