remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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