they need to just BURY HIM!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
