it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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