he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
